can't sleep...up up up

College is better than high school and that's for sure but i dont know yet how the stress level will compare. Math tomorrow shouldn't be stress free tho. But tomorrow is suppose to be a better day. Taylor wants to go out and idk what to make of him. Like really everything with him is so back and forth and out of whack. I'm so confused by everything. I feel like i'm surrounded by loser but people still don't see how hard I'm working and even how I can manage to do the little things. Like common! For god's sake I'm surrounded by people that are do GED testing because they couldn't even graduation! It's not like it's that hard. I'm just frustrated with everyone else, all the losers getting the things they want and i still just feel so stuck, watching everything pass me by, needing to make all the choices about the rest of my life and in all honesty i have NO idea what i want from the rest of my life!! I'm about to lose my mind. i'm just sick of everything. I guess atleast I don't have to get up early, i can roll out of bed any time i want tomorrow. this college thing is very nice.

College???

Wow. Really going to school tonight. And there's so much else going on. I'm not ready to go back to studying and homework and way too much to do. This is going to be something so different.

First Day of Work and 4th of July

It's been a crazy, kinda sad few days. I came home on Saturday and that was kinda hard, not so much coming home because i really missed it but it was hard to leave there. I can't believe it's JULY already! I'm sad with that thought because everything always comes and goes so quickly and you can always only look back but never have a moment back.
I start work too which will be interesting because I haven't been new to a job in almost 2 years and I remember how daunting those first few weeks can be, being the new girl, the odd one out, having to prove myself to this physicaly fit group of people. Anyway. This was more just an update but not very indepth because I'm tired and I've been working hard all day so more later.

Watching the Office

Sitting at Rachel's house watching the office with her mom...she's picking up a spider. Anyway. It's been a slow, boring day. Taylor's back in town but we haven't seen him yet today, we've been missing our chance all day. We were suppose to hot tub with Marcus tonight and Taylor was suppose to come but now he's changing it up and he wants us to go to a part at his place tonight cause no one's there but I don't know about that.
I don't know what to think about him. We've had our time together and it was good when he wasn't all fucked up but I dont know. He's been off all day with another chick and I don't know what they've been doing. This whole week as far as boys go has been very confusing and a little rough. I don't want him to leave but at the same time I don't know how I feel about him being back. Just so much on my mind. Not sure what to do with Taylor. Wanna see him. Don't wanna leave. Waiting to hear back from 24 hour fitness. Well.....ok.

Today....ahhh

So I was offered the job at 24 hour fitness this morning:) just waitng for the background check to come though ok.
But not everything's that perfect. I'm into the wrong guy, a guy that I'm not even really into for the right reasons. I did A LOT in the last 18 hours and I don't know how much of it was a good thing. Up to 10.
And the guy that might be the right guy isn't going to be around long at all, I'll only have a few days and he's got girls all over him to divide his time up. He says I'm a priority and Rachel sweres he'll always pick me but I'm feeling down about my odds, like I'm just being over looked again. 24 hours ago so much was different yet so much was still the same. Not sure what to expect these days, there's still just so much to get through. I'm hoping that when he comes home Rachel will be proven right and I will get some much needed time with him. I just wanna get back to feeling upbeat and positive about everything. I don't know.
I hope things work out sooner rather than later.

Things Are Looking Up

So had an interview at 24 hour fitness this morning and I'm going back tomorrow for a second one and I hope I get the job. I was thinking I'd rather have the nanny job but when I walked into the gym this morning I just knew that was the right place for me.
I also registered for college today and didn't have to take the placement test because my ACT score was high enough!! Whooooo!! Gonna try full time school and full time work, it should be interesting.
And Taylor is coming back into town next Tuesday and I have a blinde date thanks to Megan on Monday and I'm going out with Eric tonight....busy!
Well...things are just looking better:)